On Parenting Tips

7 LESSONS FOR NEW PARENTS (article provided by iVillage, Inc.)

1. Parents have needs, too. All of us need balance in our lives. Time for ourselves is not time stolen from our families—in fact, it’s necessary to replenish ourselves so that we have something left to give. It isn’t self-indulgent to take a nap, sit with a cup of tea, exercise or spend time with a friend.

2. Recovering from Childbirth Takes Longer Than Six Weeks. At six weeks, many women have not even had one good night’s sleep and are only beginning to think about the world outside the four walls of their home. Mothers who don’t push their recovery, but rather allow themselves the time they need to adjust physically and emotionally, fare much better than those who try to do too much too soon.

3. Your Baby’s Birth Is Not the End of the Pregnancy Experience. And you thought it was over in nine months! Actually, some of the most important work a mother does is to process the birth afterward—to work through it in her mind, to make sense of what happened and to match what she felt on the inside with what other people saw on the outside. The greater the discrepancy between what she expected and what she got, the tougher this task is.

4. Sleep Deprivation Is a Very Big Deal. There’s nothing like having a baby to change the value you place on sleep. Never again in your life will you take sleep for granted; it moves right up there with food and water as a life necessity.

5. Mothers and Fathers Are Different. Several studies in the last decade have shown that both men’s and women’s styles of parenting bring valuable benefits to babies. Fathers tend to be more playful and physical, which encourages muscle development and motor skills, whereas mothers tend to interact in quieter, more soothing ways, which stimulate language and cognitive development. The best thing for babies is to have both parents actively involved in daily care.

6. With Every Change, There Is Loss. We’re all aware of the indescribably wonderful joys that come with having a new baby. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of having a sweet-smelling newborn nuzzle into your neck. But the birth of a baby also brings some necessary (though, fortunately, often temporary) losses—loss of your familiar lifestyle, loss of freedom, loss of income. The appropriate reaction to loss is grief, and the only way to get to the other side of grief is to move through it.

7. Get By with a Little Help from Your Friends. Parenting was never meant to be done alone. We all need people around us who can show us the ropes, lend a helping hand and provide reassurance and encouragement.

Above all, remember that adjusting to parenthood takes time. Recognizing and discussing this early on can give you a real head start as you begin your journey into parenting.