Just for Dad: 10 Ways to be a Better Dad

Article is written by the National Fatherhood Initiative

1. Respect Your Children's Mother. One of the best things a father can do for his children is to respect their mother. If you are married, keep your marriage strong and vital. If you're not married, it is still important to respect and support the mother of your children. A father and mother who respect each other, and let their children know it, provide a secure environment for them. When children see their parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel that they are also accepted and respected.
2. Spend Time with Your Children. How a father spends his time tells his children what's important to him. If you always seem to busy for your children, they will feel neglected no matter what you say. Treasuring children often means sacrificing other things, but it is essential to spend time with your children. Kids grow up so quickly. Missed opportunities are forever lost.
3. Earn the Right to Be Heard. All too often the only time a father speaks to his children is when they have done something wrong. That's why so many children cringe when their mother says, "Your father wants to talk with you." Begin talking with your kids when they are very young so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older. Take time and listen to their ideas and problems.
4. Discipline with Love. All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits. Remind your children of the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful rewards for desirable behavior. Fathers who discipline in a calm and fair manner show love for their children.
5. Be a Role Model. Fathers are role models to their kids whether they realize it or not. A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by boys, and what to look for in a husband. Fathers can teach sons what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility and responsibility. "All the world's a stage..." and a father plays one of the most vital roles.
6. Be a Teacher. Too many fathers think teaching is something others do. But a father who teaches his children about right and wrong, and encourages them to do their best, will see his children make good choices. Involved fathers use everyday examples to help their children learn the basic lessons of life.
7. Eat Together as a Family. Sharing a meal together (breakfast, lunch or dinner) can be an important part of healthy family life. In addition to providing some structure in a busy day, it gives kids the chance to talk about what they are doing and want to do. It is also a good time for fathers to listen and give advice. Most importantly, it is a time for families to be together each day.
8. Read to Your Children. In a world where television often dominates the lives of children, it is important that fathers make the effort to read to their children. Children learn best by doing and reading, as well as seeing and hearing. Begin reading to your children when they are very young. When they are older encourage them to read on their own. Instilling your children with a love for reading is one of the best ways to ensure they will have a lifetime of personal and career growth.
9. Show Affection. Children need the security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted and loved by their family. Parents, especially fathers, need to feel both comfortable and willing to hug their children. Showing affection everyday is the best way to let your children know that you love them.
10. Realize that a Father's Job Is Never Done. Even after children are grown and ready to leave home, they will still look to their fathers for wisdom and advice. Whether it's continued schooling, a new job or a wedding, fathers continue to play an essential part in the lives of their children as they grow and, perhaps, marry and build their own families.

What Worked For Me

Now that Kirstin has reached the one year mark, I looked back to some of the advice that I have gotten and that worked for me (or should I say worked for her! =D). It might worked for you too (or your babies)! So, here they are:

Ease an aching tummy
When Kirstin had a terrible gas, I can tell it by the look on her face, the way it turns red and from the sound of her cry. I have read that I should rub her belly counterclockwise and then gently push her knees back toward her ears. That was awesome because as soon as those knees went back, she was able to get rid of that gas and return to being a happy baby!

Lull an infant to sleep
When Kirstin was an infant, she likes to sleep! She would sleep and sleep and sleep all day especially when she's in my arms but she wakes up the minute I put her to her crib. I have read that placing my hand on the baby's chest after laying her down will do the trick. The warmth feels like your body, and then you can slowly pull it away. Also, I read that since their sense of smell was the strongest at this age, you shouldn't wash their beddings regularly. You wash it every 2 months so they get used to the smell and find comfort in it. Just make sure the baby did not pee on it or anything! Haha!

Soothe a teething infant
When Kirstin was teething, I had a hard time figuring out what teething ring would work for her. Some of them are hard, some has a weird texture and Kirstin wouldn't even want to bite it. A friend advised me to give her a fruit sucker! It's netted so you can put a juicy fruit inside and when she bites it, all she can get is the juice. So, it's like hitting two birds with one stone! She's getting nutrition from the fruit and at the same time, it relieves her pain from teething! But at night when she's on her crib already, you can't use this as a teether since it will be messy. The other trick I learned is to wet a washcloth corner, scrunch it into a point, and then freeze. She loves it too! She loves chewing on washcloths, and this way they're not too cold for her to hold.

And the best advice I got is...

Feel great about the job you're doing! Your baby knows only you. She's not comparing you to other moms. You are fabulous to her! As long as she's diapered, fed, cuddled, and loved, you are doing everything right!

On the Move

Yay! Finally, at 13 months, Kirstin is officially walking! It truly is like witnessing a miracle, a big one (for me and Kurt) for that matter! After all, her first steps are her first major move toward independence. But, it also means, no more multi-tasking for mommy! Can't leave a wandering baby unattended...she's often up to something!

Speaking of which, I had a friend with me one time and we were watching Kirstin playing her piano, at the same time we were making the invitation for her daughter's birthday party. When I looked at her again, I noticed that she's chewing on something. I panicked, put my finger in her mouth, and grab whatever it is she's chewing. And ola, it was one of the plastic petals that came off of her piano! Yikes! She could have choked! So, yeah, you might as well start singing the song..."Can't take my eyes off of you!"...because that's what you'll end up doing! =)

One of things she does that cracks me up is, whenever Wowowee is on or the LDD jingle is being played (shoutout to all TFC subscribers! haha!) on TV, she'll start dancing! Finally, I have a dance partner!!! =D