What Experts Say

Like what experts would say, nothing can really prepare anyone on this new role of being a parent. There'll be so many emotions, changing every day, every hour, every minute. So much to do, on so little time, or should I say, on so little sleep. That is normal! I am having separation anxiety knowing that I have to go back to work next week! Waaahhh!

If you talk to new parents, you'd realize that they have all struggled with these same things as long as babies have been born and all it takes is just awareness, preparation and confidence in one's self. More importantly, new mothers should learn more on the so-called "postpartum blues" - feelings that can be as simple as just feelings of sadness (all of a sudden you'd cry from the thought that you're a bad mother which was what happened to me...thank God!) to thoughts of harming the baby or harming yourself. These emotions can be overpowering so it's important to know how to address them. Here is an article I found that have some suggestions on how to manage it all:

THE FOURTH TRIMESTER: WHAT TO EXPECT & WHAT TO DO

In the United States, new mothers often stay in the hospital for 48 hours or less—and then have little or no help with their new baby once they’re at home. And despite their careful preparation for childbirth, they may not be ready for the emotional and lifestyle changes that await them. The end result can be a heaping of stress and anxiety.

To keep positive in the first days and weeks at home with your baby—and to keep postpartum tension from becoming all-encompassing—it helps to understand what emotions you may have, and how to cope with them. What follows are some of the most common problems you may face:

Worries About Your New Roles. Continuous responsibility for an infant can be an overwhelming experience. On top of this comes a major change in relationships. Your twosome has become a threesome, and you’re now drawn compellingly into a relationship with your baby, even though you may be trying to maintain the same relationship you previously had with your partner.

The birth also results in major changes for the new father. Starting with the baby’s first cry, it’s common for dads to feel an enhanced concern about meeting the financial needs of the family. For both of you, the euphoria associated with the birth may soon be pushed aside by tensions about meeting the baby’s needs, maintaining a relationship with each other and adjusting to new realities.

For couples to bear up under the fatigue, each partner needs to make a major effort at being understanding, supportive and communicative. It’s hard to imagine just how tired you can become when your baby’s needs do not follow any normal day-night schedule. Taking turns with the nighttime watch can help, but it’s equally important for both of you to express your feelings.

Unrealistic Expectations. Your idea of what a “good mother” should be has likely been built up to such an unrealistic level by magazine articles and advice books that you may exhaust yourself trying. If that happens, you may have little tolerance for the many minor problems that naturally arise during the early care of your infant. So, keep your expectations realistic. Don’t push yourself to keep everything as perfect as it was before. Give yourself permission for rest, time-outs and brief, pleasurable outings. And let go of those “gold standards” of household or other work.

Necessary Losses. The joy of becoming parents is accompanied by what the writer Judith Viorst calls “necessary losses”: loss of the exclusive relationship with the partner, loss of many of the activities the parents participated in together, loss of the daily contacts with colleagues (for the parent who remains at home with the baby), loss of income. These many changes for both father and mother, plus multiple hormonal changes in the mother, may cause emotions to go up and down.

During this precarious time, a number of things, from keeping your expectations realistic to forming a strong attachment to your baby, can help you to feel less anxious. If you have time to really get to know your infant in the first few weeks, you’ll feel much more confident as a mother. So use this time to keep your baby close—to hold, soothe and love your child. When this happens, you’ll find that the strong bond you have with your baby will help you to cope with the many other adjustments that are now taking place. You’ll feel better about your child, about yourself and about your new life.